the radical ethics of kindness

A work friend once gave me a sticker that said
“Be Kind.”
On the back she wrote
“This made me think of you.“

I walked out the door of my last job with that sticker in hand. It touched my heart in a way that I hadn’t felt was present at work for a long time. Reflecting on those words, I realized that what was missing, and what was most important to me, was how I am treated and how I treat other people. Taking care of human beings, treating them with respect and dignity, trusting them to do their best, and above all, being kind toward them. Organizations are not necessarily structured to ensure that happens. Organizational leadership does not always care so much about it either.

With that realization, I have spent this past year exploring what I call the “Radical Ethics of Kindness.” A kindness ethic that can be used as the measuring stick for all that I do: all the actions I take in my thinking, speaking and behaving. It challenges me to do better in my day-to-day world. I’ve also found it gives me courage to take what I see as an ethical stand and it provides basic clarity for how I want to live my life: present and aware in every moment.

This theme will wind its way through many of my blog posts. Other virtues will find their way in as well. In the book of Galatians, the Apostle Paul said that the fruit of the spirit is a set of virtues: “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” I grew up as a Catholic, and now practice and teach Buddhism as an ordained Dharma Teacher. The virtues and deep teachings of both spiritual traditions have found resonance in my heart and soul. I hope to offer some of what I have learned over the many years of my life to those who are interested in my writings.

“My Religion is Kindness”

-Kathleen Braza
nationally recognized
bereavement educator and counselor
1947-2025

are dandelions weeds?

Are dandelions weeds? It seems to me this is a question of perspective. How I think about dandelions contributes to how I feel about and act toward them. For example, if I’m taking care of my yard, I may see all those dandelions as weeds – creating a lot of gardening work for me. “Hmph!” I may proclaim as I tromp around the dandelion landscape.

Then my granddaughter visits and goes around the yard joyfully picking all those dandelions, blowing their seeds to the wind. I can internally experience a sense of exasperation. It’s true. However, as I learn more about dandelions my perspective expands. Dandelions are actually pretty amazing:

As Pollinators’ Paradise: Dandelions are among the first plants to bloom in spring, providing a crucial early food source (pollen and nectar) for bees, butterflies, and other pollinators when other plants are not yet in bloom. 

For Soil Health: Dandelions have deep taproots that can bring nutrients from deeper soil layers to the surface, benefiting other plants in the area. 

For Soil Aeration: Their roots also help aerate the soil, improving its structure and drainage. 

As a Food Source for Wildlife: Dandelions are a food source for various animals, including birds, chipmunks, and livestock. 

Helping with Erosion Control: The roots help to hold soil in place, reducing erosion.

When my perspective expands and I recognize the contributions of these “weeds” to the welfare of pollinators, soil health, wildlife, people and, perhaps, the entire planet, it helps me remember that we human beings are of the same nature. We can think of people as just “weeds,” OR look more closely to see their inherent good nature – and then focus our attention to encourage it to bloom and grow.

the power of your smile

The first thing I remember learning from Thich Nhat Hanh over 25 years ago was the benefit of a half-smile. He taught that smiling can make you happier. It was my first experience with mindfully taking care of myself in a positive way. He also taught that if you are happy or joyful, a smile will naturally appear on your lips. For many years now I have consciously practiced smiling. Even when I am grumpy on the inside, others have reflected that it doesn’t show on the outside!

There is research that says smiling increases our well-being. According to Psychology Today, smiling is a natural stress reliever—it can lower your heart rate, reduce blood pressure, and even boost your immune system by cutting down on cortisol, the stress hormone. When you smile, your brain releases feel-good chemicals like endorphins, which help ease pain and stress, and serotonin, which can lift your mood.

Smiling can also create positive emotional feelings and interactions between people through the action of mirror neurons, located in several key areas of the brain. These amazing neurons are fundamental to our ability to understand others’ actions and intentions, including their emotions. They allow us to “mirror,” and at the same time experience, the actions and feelings of others, allowing us to create a sense of empathy and connection with each other. When we smile then, our well-being expands beyond our own selves. It can have a positive effect on our relationships, our interactions with others and the spaces we share together. Imagine – this is the power of your smile!

“Peace begins with a smile”
-Mother Theresa of Kolkata

The Power of Not-Knowing

Over a year ago, I left my job as the Human Resources Director for a large long-term care community. I thought I would move into consulting, but it never felt quite right. Something deeper and more profound seems to be stirring in me. In response to my questioning, a spiritual friend offered this writing by Rabbi Shefa Gold, “The Power of Not Knowing: Lo-Nayda.” A comforting reminder that my/our life’s path is a mystery and a wonder unfolding in every moment.

Lo-nayda mah-na’avod et-Yah ad-bo’aynu shama
We don’t know how we will serve YHVH until we get there. (Exodus 10:26)

We don’t know what form our service will take, what the world will be like or what will be called from us. The world is in flux and our lives are also changing moment to moment. We just don’t know. Not-knowing can be terrifying and yet it also holds the infinite potential of our power and creativity. We can only prepare for this mystery by becoming fully present, by accessing the fullness of Being in this moment, knowing that when we are called, we will respond with that fullness. On this journey to Freedom we must dare to live in a place of uncertainty that is held inside the confidence that just showing up in our fullness and in our uniqueness is enough. We won’t know what is needed until we get there. Each moment is a new “there.”

this morning…

I lit a cedar bundle 
to release toxins 
Sweetgrass to 
clear and 
generate 
happiness and joy 
Palo Santo wood 
to establish 
sacred space 

Meditation 
listening to 
monastics read 
the Fourteen 
Mindfulness 
Trainings on 
the Plum Village app 

This quiet 
Saturday morning 
Time to 
listen deeply 
connect with 
the deep silent 
voice of the cosmos 
drawing 
me in 
allowing 
unfolding 
as it arises 
like the mist rising 
from the 
fresh dew 
as spring flowers 
open with 
the rising sun 
this is 
our true nature 
expressing itself 
in a brief 
moment 
in time 
and space 
here now 

with love and trust 
nisi

of course. we all want to be free.

Punnika the Slave

In the early morning,
well before dawn,
I would go down to the river.

It was my job to carry water
up the hill
to my master’s house.

Of course.
We all want to be free.

But what good is freedom
when your sisters remain slaves?

I used to imagine an old man down there by
the river.
I used to imagine what I would say to him.

What does it mean–
to own another human being?

What does it mean–
to feel your own skin,
to touch it,
and know you are not free?

We all have bodies.
My sisters, I don’t have to tell you.

But where did I get this body?
Who made me a slave?

The old man and me–
standing here,
watching the river.

Waiting.
But for what?

Over the years,
this round
heart
has been
pounded flat.

Sometimes it doesn’t feel safe–
to feel anything at all.

Don’t give up my sisters.

Whatever you have to say,
now is the time to say it out loud.

All our dreams of the past.
All our dreams of what will be.

Come.
Reach out your hand.

Some rivers we must cross together.

the first free women:
poems of the early buddhist nuns


morning mists

Intimate with
breath
moving
in and out

Gentle kindness
embracing a troubled
heart and mind

Calm, space.

Moist tears of
realization and compassion
gathering like
morning mist rising from
the body of the earth
as she is touched by
warm rays from
the heart of the sun.
Nisi

squirrel gatherings

Over the past week I have hit and killed two squirrels as I drive the country roads on my way to work. Sometimes animals show up in my life, and their life energy speaks to something I am struggling with. I’m not saying these squirrels died for my sake, but that the experience was an opportunity to wake me up to how they live their lives, and to the lessons they may have to offer me:

“Squirrel has another lesson which can aid you if you observe the obvious, and which can prepare you for anything. It has to do with the safe place in which to put your gatherings. This safe place is an untroubled heart and mind, and that which is gathered to put in this place is wisdom and  caring.

The energies gathered will set your heart and mind free, so that you will know that all will be taken care of in its own time. Apply this to your fears about the future and they will vanish.”

Jamie Sams & David Carson